Hello, my loyal admirers! It’s Jose, here to tell you how I have once again saved the day!
The last couple of weeks have been an adventure. An adventure right here in quiet little Cacheclee! Who would have thought?
I’m sure you’ve all been made aware of the shriles’ escape. I believe Nushi and Maria wrote about it, and Draven did whatever it is that he does to get the word out (something to do with birds, I think, though I was under the impression that humans do not understand the birds’ tweets). If you live around here you may have even seen Wei and their team canvassing the town, making sure no one had seen any strange creatures outside of the Cryptidery.
No need to fear! None of the shriles have been seen or caught outside of the Cryptidery’s property (technically), and all except two are now back in their enclosure.
But the story! The adventure! That’s what you all came here for, of course.
So, there I was, climbing through an air vent in search of the shriles. We had been fairly certain they were hiding in the ducts somewhere. I had a team of caretakers with me, those able to squeeze through, but each time the ducts split off I sent one of them in that direction, hoping that we would eventually surround the shriles. Mohammed had given me a map, but… let’s just say drawing maps and plans isn’t his strong suit. He certainly knows the building better than anyone, but he has never been good at transferring that knowledge to others.
Still, after a week of encountering dead ends and making notes on the “map”, we were sure we were closing in on the missing shriles. Everyone else had branched off on different paths, and I was crawling along by myself. Signs of the shriles were everywhere, and that was part of the problem. It seemed they had been everywhere in the building, leaving dents and scratches and excrement behind in the ducts, and it was hard to tell where they had been most recently.
As I made my way towards the front of the building, I heard a scream. Not the scream of a creature, but a human child. Since we are not yet open to visitors, I assumed that it must be Draven (who is not a child, but sounds like one when scared). I suspected that he had simply come across a spider, or broken a phone charger, or perhaps stepped in something sticky with his new shoes… again.
Despite my suspicions, it was my duty to investigate!
I sped towards the office (or where I thought the office was since I do not often find myself crawling through ducts). As I got closer, I saw a damaged grate. I cautiously approached, looking down the connecting paths for shriles before peering into the office. Below me, I saw Draven frozen in his chair, staring at the ceiling in horror. Trying my best not to laugh, I removed the damaged grate and lowered myself into the hole to see what he was looking at. There, hanging on the ceiling fan in Draven’s office, were two of the missing shriles!
You can’t bring much equipment with you when you’re climbing through air ducts. It isn’t practical. But that doesn’t mean I came unprepared! I jumped down to the ground and pulled a burlap sack from my back pocket. Earlier, I had cleverly used this sack to play a game with the grungles, so that it would smell like them. I unfolded the sack and shook it, holding it open below the fan. The shriles didn’t stop to think. They both wanted to be the first one into the sack. And so, they both jumped in. I quickly found a cage to put them in, sack and all, before they managed to claw through it, and before long they were safely back in their enclosure.
A few days later, having had no more luck capturing the shriles, I thought to put the little trick I had played on Nushi to use. Surely if Nushi had believed I was a grungle, the shriles would too. I managed to lead three more shriles right into their enclosure this way, but after narrowly avoiding being eaten by the third I decided to stop using myself as bait.
The next day, I went out to my van. I do my best planning in my van since it is usually with me on my adventures and has most of my equipment in it. I turned the radio up loud while I looked through my equipment and made some notes. After a while, I opened the back doors and carried some things inside. I got outside just in time to see my van driving away! I suppose I should have known better than to leave my keys in the ignition, with the music blaring, while I went inside.
At first, I thought it must be a simple theft (which would be out of the ordinary, but not unheard of, in Cacheclee), but then I noticed a couple of caretakers running across the parking lot. I couldn’t hear them, but they were waving their arms and gesturing at a vent on the side of the building that was obviously broken. I ran back inside and ignored Maria’s protests as I grabbed her keys from her desk and ran out again. I jumped in her car and drove as quickly as I could after the shriles that had stolen my van.
Thankfully, most residents of Cacheclee know me and know my van. Things are normally pretty quiet around here, so a van blaring music and driving erratically had not gone unnoticed. I only had to ask a few people where it had gone before turning a corner and seeing it. What followed was a high-speed chase! The action! The thrill! It was as exciting as any chase scene you’ve seen in the movies!
And perhaps as destructive. We’re going to have to pay for a lot of repairs. Maria is not happy about that.
But finally, my van ran out of gas. It’s a good thing Maria always keeps her tank full (and I don’t). My van had stopped in the middle of the road with the two shriles still inside when I caught up to it. One was honking the horn incessantly, and the other had found a taser and seemed mesmerized by the sparks it made.
I had to act fast. I stopped Maria’s car at the back of my van and jumped through the back doors that were still open, pulling them closed behind me. The shriles of course heard the door close. Both dove towards me. My first priority had to be wrestling the taser away from them. Doing so while making sure none of us got tased was difficult, but I finally managed to pull it away and hide it in the glove compartment. Now that I was in the front of the van, I was able to keep the shriles contained in the back. There was only a small space they could climb through, so I kept pushing them back through it as I removed my keys from the ignition and rolled down one of the windows. Then I quickly jumped through the open window and used the remote on my keychain to close it.
By now other caretakers had caught up. We decided it was best to get my van towed back to the Cryptidery with the shriles still inside, where we were able to get them back into their enclosure without much trouble.
So, there you have it! Seven shriles, captured by me and back where they belong!
I suppose I had better stop avoiding the paperwork. Nushi refuses to do it. I can’t imagine why! She seems to enjoy it, and she knows how painful it is for me!
Until next time, remember, adventures can be had right in your proverbial backyard (even if you live in a tiny boring town no one’s ever heard of).
Jose